I tried to find God, but in the end I just could not accept the supernatural. I figured that if I accepted even a little tiny bit of supernatural, I would have to believe in all things supernatural. I would simultaneously have to believe in a Christian God and Zeus. With all I know about science and mathematics and having a sceptical mind I just couldn’t do it, believe in a God.
What I can believe is living a spiritual life of love and compassion and tolerance of others. I have a higher power that works by believing in such a way that I hold myself to the greater ideal of humanity that reflects our species desire for love, compassion, tolerance, peace and harmony among many other tag words.
I am also a moral Nihilist. I believe that this way of living offers hope for our people. By releasing us of the bonds of inherent morality we can begin to see that our morality can be shaped by our higher mind. To be free of a morality set in stone we can begin to see our Neighbours point of view and to allow our selves the freedom of empathy and understanding. We can heal broken hearts and mend the fence with our enemies.
This is how this alcoholic must live to stay sober amid a mind fraught with mental disorders. I fall far short of this ideal now, but someday I hope to come closer to the never to arrive finish line because it’s a journey.